In today’s digital age, the use of internet-connected devices is transforming how we live, communicate and interact with the world. But for parents, this technology-driven environment poses a unique challenge: how to balance the benefits of connectivity with the potential risks it brings for their children.
Perceived Advantages of A Smartphone
Giving an internet connected device to a child appears to be a rite of passage these days. Whether this is by design on the parents’ behalf, or due to peer pressure from the child. But it is happening on an increasingly younger basis.
The perceived benefits to a child having their own mobile are:
Easy to Track. An advantage of a smartphone is their GPS functionality, allowing parents to monitor their children’s movements. Many parents use smartphones to track their children’s locations when travelling outside of the house via Find My for iPhone or other apps for Android phones. The parents know where they are at all times.
Keeps Pace with Technology. Technology is part of our world and children need to be tech-savvy to be a part of it. Providing them with smartphones at an early age helps them become comfortable with technology and develop the necessary skills to keep up with its advancements.
Take Photos. Smartphones are equipped with powerful cameras, allowing children to capture photos and create lasting memories. During holidays and family outings, children can use the phone to capture their world the way they want to.
Educational Purposes. Smartphones have an educational benefit. Children have no choice but to use technology in schools and often homework is being set via apps, websites and other platforms. Remote learning has become a part of lives and some places still revert to this in times of bad weather.
The Anxious Generation
In his book “The Anxious Generation,” social psychologist Jonathan Haidt traces the decline of the ‘play-based childhood’ since the 1980s and its replacement by the ‘phone-based childhood’ in the early 2010s. He explains how, after a period of stability and even improvement, adolescent mental health took a sharp downturn in the early 2010s, with rates of depression, anxiety, self-harm and suicide more than doubling.
This fundamental shift in a children’s day to day lives has disrupted their social and neurological development; afflictions include sleep deprivation, attention fragmentation, addiction, loneliness and social comparisons. Social media is affecting girls more severely and boys are increasingly retreating into the virtual world of gaming.
Book: Jonathan Haidt, The Anxious Generation
Haidt calls this the ‘great rewiring of childhood’ and says that it is causing a worldwide epidemic of mental illness. One of his solutions is advocating for the delay in giving children access to internet-connected phones until high school/the age of 16. He outlines several reasons for this recommendation, emphasising the need to protect children from the potentially harmful effects of technology and social media.
Haidt’s Four Rules
Drawing on his experience as a psychologist, Haidt emphasises the urgency of protecting children and society from the psychological toll of excessive screen time and a phone-centric lifestyle.
He outlines four simple rules in the book to address the problems contributing to the crisis and outlining the steps parents, teachers, schools, tech companies and governments need to take to combat the epidemic of mental illness and help foster a more humane childhood.
- No smart phones until at least high school*
- No social media until 16
- Phone free schools
- Ensure more independent, free play and responsibility in the real world
Delay Giving A Smartphone Till 16
The first rule is ‘No smart phones until at least high school’ or better still, 16. (*High school age in the US is 14).
According to The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the average daily screen time hours per age group in the US are:
- 6 hours for 8- to 10-year-olds
- 9 hours for 11- to 14-year-olds
- 7.5 hours for 15- to 18-year-olds
These numbers are trending upwards and researchers expect that children will be getting their own personal device at a much younger age. Parents are getting fed up of handing over their own device when the child needs some ‘entertainment’.
Physical and Social Dangers
Some of the physical and social dangers of letting a child use a phone too early include:
Altered Brain Development. Children aged 8 to 12 in the U.S. as you can see above spend a quarter to a third of their day on screens either in a passive or active manner. About 1hr 46mins of this time is dedicated to mobile gaming. Excessive screen time can negatively impact brain development, causing physical changes such as premature thinning of the cortex, which is associated with lower cognitive skills (National Institute of Health, 2018).
Impaired Social Skills Development. When children spend more time on smartphones than interacting with others, their social skills development can suffer. This over-reliance on digital interaction rather than face to face can hinder the growth of critical thinking, impulse control and problem-solving abilities.
Exposure to Inappropriate Content. Smartphones provide unrestricted internet access, and without proper monitoring, children can easily stumble upon inappropriate content, including nudity and violence. Exposure to such material can have long-lasting effects. Additionally, they may encounter websites that foster an unhealthy dependence on peer validation, leading to cyberbullying and feelings of rejection or ostracism.
Early Technology Addiction. Excessive screen use can lead to overstimulation and the production of adrenaline and dopamine, making technology highly addictive. This addiction can result in depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. It can also impair concentration in school and strain family relationships.
Delaying full access to the outside world (ie. messaging apps, social media, browsers etc) until High School or 16 years old intuitively just seems right. We don’t allow our children to smoke, drink or use drugs so anything potentially addictive should by default, be put into the same bracket.
All children develop at different rates but exposing children to phones too early does not bode well for the child’s growth and development.
Making The Right Decision
The decision when to give your child a mobile phone is a very personal one but there is increasing evidence that delaying until a child reaches 16 and mature enough to deal with the content that they are seeing will never be the wrong decision. And it should never be influenced by anyone else and what they have decided to do for their child.
Do your research. Solicit opinions from others. Find out what they have tried and failed at. Find out what has worked. Find out how often their child is using a device. Find out their boundaries. They may have given their child a device at ten years old but they may also not care (or know) that their child has the phone in their bedroom at night and is falling asleep in class.
Peer pressure for both the child and the parent can be strong. No one wants their child to feel left out as they are THE ONLY one (how many times have you heard that?) that doesn’t have a phone. When you start speaking to the parents, you’ll soon find out they aren’t the only ones. It just feels like it to them.
It’s not the phone that’s the issue, it’s what your child does with the phone that is.
Make sure the decision you make is the correct one for you, your child and your family. Reversing an ill-timed decision is a lot harder than never having started at all.
Control smart phones, don’t let them control your child
How To Get Your Child To Wait Till 16
If you choose to wait until 16, but feel that you want your child to have a device so they can be contactable, there are other options to the latest and greatest internet connect phones.
Give Them An Actual ‘Phone’
Internet connect smartphones are actually supercomputers and so giving your children a feature phone or ‘dumb phone’ enables them to communicate and have the conveniences of a device without opening the door to social media and in appropriate content on a full smartphone.
- Feature Phone: The phone can still be used for calling and texting parents and guardians for safety reasons.
- Smart Phone with No Data: If you really feel you need to give your child a smartphone, get a phone with no data plan until they turn 16 (ie. it can’t be used outside of the house with friends etc).The phone can use WiFi at home under monitored situations; setting usage boundaries (times and places that they can use the phone).
- Simplified Phone: Utilise apps available for both iPhone and Android devices to transform the smartphone into a basic communication tool, limiting functions to texting and calls. This reduces the phone’s allure and minimises reliance on addictive features.
- Browser Restrictions: For younger users, remove the internet browser from the phone. If online access is necessary for homework, only allow use of the family computer in a communal area.
Introduce Slowly
Once a child goes to High School (or turns 16) you can then gradually introduce safe use of the smart phone. Here are some practical tips that you can implement.
- Gradual Access: Educate your your child on safe phone use, granting access to additional features as trust is earned and the rules are being followed.
- Trial Period: Introduce a one-month probationary period to highlight the importance of sticking to rules. Make it clear that failure to follow the rules may result in the phone being taken away.
- Parental Controls: Disable app downloads to prevent unauthorised usage and only add approved apps as rewards for responsible behaviour.
- Social Media Limitations: Strictly prohibit social media apps until the age of 16, thereafter imposing strict time limits of 30-45 minutes per day.
- Eliminate Distractions: Remove all games and social media apps from the phone to minimise distractions and focus on essential functions whilst at school.
- Browser Restrictions: Keep the browser restricted. If online access is necessary for homework, only allow use of the family computer in a communal area.
- Established Access Hours: Set specific hours when the phone is accessible, along with time limits and a curfew to regulate usage and promote healthy boundaries.
- Family Sharing or Family Link: Connect your child’s Apple account through Family Sharing or their Android/Google account through Family Link to facilitate monitoring and management of their device usage. Consider utilising other products like Bark for controlling various types of phones.
- Screen Time Management: Activate screen time settings and establish a screen time password to regulate and monitor your child’s device usage effectively (Apple and Android/Google).
These tactics can be lessened over time but the list gives ideas as to what can be restricted and what can be taken away again if lessons aren’t being learnt about appropriate behaviour and usage.
Parenting in the technological age is a journey and at the moment, it feels like we have no road map. Use these tips and other information on this site to start formulating your own map to get you to where you need to be for the health and safety of your children.
